As a young child, Your biggest worries Are the weather- Will it rain today?- And which annoying sibling Stole your toy. As a young teen, Your biggest worries Are clothes And friends And homework. Other than that, You have your life ahead of you. What do you want to be when you grow up? You get many more years To think about that. Who's your best friend? It may change soon, it may not. Your answer might not be what it was a month ago. But you have fun regardless, Fun with the day's BFF. What will you wear for picture day? Will it be a dress or a skirt, Jeans or leggings? In a year that will not matter; You have your life ahead of you. No problems as a young teen, Young and in middle school, Or as a little kid, Playful and innocent, Should last. They're temporary. You're young, you're naïve. You think it will last, The care-free nature of childhood. You feel old, And yet you don't truly need to worry. You shouldn't have to worry about Adults in white coats And stethoscopes, Thin white sheets On a button-filled bed, Tests and tests and tests To tell you what's wrong. Pills to make you feel better. You shouldn't have to worry about Whether or not you'll get better. Whether or not your life will begin again, Whether or not these fears will last The rest of your life. You don't think they will last. Why should they? They never have before But slowly you are forced to realize, As a child, That they're not going to leave. They'll stay with you forever, Unlike 6th grade picture day Or a failed math quiz. Unlike a lost toy, Or wet clothes. They're forced to grow up, Forced to mature beyond their time. One day We might find a cure, A cure for illnesses Affecting children. One day We might find cures, And save the innocent, necessary childhood Of many. We can only hope. And believe. And pray. And be aware.
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American Revolution. Civil War. World War I. What do they have in common? Pain. Violence. Suffering. Fatigue. Fear. My war Is not unlike those. There are fights. All day every day, I battle. I battle the enemy, Hoping to win. It lasts a long time. I get no sleep; I am always tired, But the pain Keeps me awake. Strength is needed, Strength to thrust the sword Or hold up the gun. Strength To fight back. Energy is drained. Why so quickly? Energy is drained, And I wish I could take a break To re-charge. Can't concentrate On anything else. I can't leave the enemy To fight me, defenseless. It won't win. It can't. Every second spent distracted, I am hit And wounded. Pain Shoots through my body. I am knocked down, But I get back up. Energy is drained Some more. I just want a break, Just for one second. The lights dim outside, And it's ready to sleep, Ready to forget the battles. But the enemy attacks At my weakest point. Why didn't I see it? I spend the night Fighting some more. And the cycle begins, Everyday more exhausting And painful Than the last. When the sun comes out, When I see a moment of light, When I knock them down for just barely long enough, I see What makes it all worth it. I see What I'm fighting for. I fight For my dignity. For my family, For my friends. I fight, To help others Who battle as well. I fight For my pride, For my God, For my life. And I am grateful That I have reasons, That life is not just an endless battle. For the battle is inside of me, And I cannot escape. I lie awake When sleep won't come And think. Think about life, How this essay And history test And physics problems Won't matter a year from now. When I think about the future In this way, It's blissful. It seems So simple, So much happier And brighter. The future is unknown, and As long as it stays distant, I can pretend It'll be perfect. But I'm kidding myself. For when I think of the pain, When I remember that It likely won't leave, My life Seems long, and The future looks bleak. The future is unknown, and When I think of it in this way, That there will be many more Arguments, more Stubbed toes and hangnails, Broken friendships And betrayal; More sorrow, More grief, More disappointment, More pain, It looks no different. Life seems an endless battle, Day after day after day We all fight. This will never change. But I think about the good things. There will be more hugs, More kisses, More birthday presents and Wishes. More sweet chocolate, Sipping lemonade in the sun, And heart-warming books. More love, More happiness, More warmth, More fun, More LIFE. And the future no longer looks bleak; Life no longer seems too long. I don't dread what's to come, because The future is unknown For a reason. As I lie awake I think About what I look forward to, And smile as I drift to sleep, And dream about the future. |
AboutHi, I'm Jen Starzec, and I'm 19 years old. I write a lot about disability and chronic illness, especially related to my main disorder, Transverse Myelitis. I also have a lot of poetry and some short stories. Enjoy! Categories
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